Beginnings are hard. Crap; everything is hard.
My first post; it will likely be the most difficult. Maybe even more difficult than going through the last three years! (On second thought, nahhhhh; this is much easier than that!) So here I go!
Today, the topic is: what an ordinary retired couple with five grown children and a ‘Boo’, (ten pound Shi Tzu) are doing on a gorgeous sailboat in a tiny marina in Panama, waiting for a weather window to head to Jamaica and stocking up on Dramamine for what will most certainly be a very rough ride.
I; actually we, Michelle and Dean; (you can refer to us as the Fearless or Clueless Duo); are on the journey of our lives. What many talk about but few do, we did. When Dean retired, we sold it all and bought our first boat: a world class sailing yacht. Usually the first boat people buy is an ordinary, (read: mass produced), smaller and uncomplicated vessel; 20’ to 30’ feet in length; and then they upgrade over time. Not us; oh no, no no; we could not have just any sailboat. During the “pandemic”, with way too much time on his hands and a yearning to be on a sailboat in the Caribbean again, my wonderful husband began eyeballing a charter of an Alloy built sailboat, and after doing a considerable amount of research it was clear; not only were we not going to be chartering another boat, we were going to own one. Fast forward eighteen months and we purchased Eclipse: a New Zealand built 1991 107’ custom Alloy designed by DuBois that is anything but ordinary, small or uncomplicated. I have been an owner of smaller power boats and one 68’ motor yacht; never a sailboat. Dean was an officer in the Navy, but has never owned any boat. I sailed enough in high school and college to know that I am no longer interested in broken toes, rainbow bruises, rope burns and snapped fingernails; owning a sailing vessel was not my first choice. (I wanted a Duffy). But hubby prevailed and here we are. (More on that later; I still wonder why I did not insist on a Duffy).
The vast majority of our friends and family think we are insane; and I am not ruling out that it is quite possible we are; but we certainly aren’t boring! One thing is predominantly true about both of us; we are not afraid to take risks; a trait we share that has allowed us some very fun adventures. However, there was never a time when living on a large, complicated sailing yacht with a crew, sailing the world’s oceans, was ever a dream of our future. Ever.
And yet, here we are.
This Substack is our story. We are one year into our journey; a journey which has not by any means gone in the direction that we envisioned or planned it. We are learning to be better students as God, through Eclipse, is growing and teaching us in amazing and often very painful or trying ways to be trusting and patient. We could never be experiencing all this except for a calling put on Dean’s heart by God. (At least that is why he says I did not get my Duffy). When you read our story, nuanced by over a combined one hundred and thirteen years of life and all its lessons, it is clear that God individually prepared us in ways small and large for our journey together on Eclipse.
Dean’s heart is not the only one on whom God placed a burden. Mine is sharing the story of us and Eclipse with you. It is a story about God; His mercy, glory, faithfulness, compassion, kindness, answers to prayer, provision and love; and I am compelled to share what we have learned and experienced. Ours is the story of a couple who, like Abraham, felt the call to leave it all and with the grace that only God can provide, (and little formal sailing knowledge or experience), ‘go to the land I will show you’. I will share how God uses the courageous; people willing to stand up and say, “here am I; send me”; to radically challenge, encourage and lead His children into a deeper relationship with Him. God; through life’s and Eclipse’s lessons; continues to change and challenge us in new and different ways every single day. Our job is to stay positive, hopeful and patient as we carry our cross every day.
At this point, you might be tempted to think, “carry your cross”? It doesn’t sound like there’s much “cross carrying” to be done in your lives.” You can be forgiven for thinking that. Keep reading; you most assuredly will change your mind.
We invite you to join us on our journey and experience a taste of this wild ride we have decided to go on. At the very least, you will be entertained. This Substack will not be a tourist’s guide, although we will talk about the places we visit along the way. It is going to be our mini-manifesto on what it means to be a fully alive, facing head on all the challenges; relationship issues, logistics issues, heartaches, expenses, triumphs, fear, failures, bad decisions and recoveries; all the things we deal with on a regular basis; and how we have grown wiser, stronger and better from having faced them. It is a story of overcoming some very difficult challenges while walking in faith. Without that faith, we never could have done this. Sometimes victory can look a lot like defeat in the moment. The biggest part of the beauty of this journey is how God has shown us that His timing is always perfect. He brings beauty from the ashes; our failures; often in spectacular ways. We can already look back and see His light and hand in our darkest moments.
Our objective is to inspire and encourage you to face fears and challenges with the confidence that you can continue to move ahead when you rely on God and not your own strength. Setbacks are not road blocks, even though sometimes they certainly look like them. In order to achieve great things; worthy things; pain and sacrifice are necessary. We live in a culture that wants only safety; to be pain and difficulty free; but our ability to endure our challenges and traumas and still keep moving forward defines what we and our lives become. Dean and I have been there. Like everyone, we have both endured some incredibly difficult and deeply painful experiences in our lives; including death, divorce, poverty, severe illness and abuse. Through our faith and the overwhelming grace of God, we have overcome them all.
What You Can Expect
I will break down our journey into vignettes; I am aiming for at least three a week. I will elaborate on past events and how hindsight clarified, or did not, what they taught us. I will discuss faith, wisdom and my sometimes totally overwhelming emotions candidly; what brought us to and through our most challenging moments. I promise there will be a lot of laughter as I personally find it difficult to take all of this too seriously. (Besides, I love a good laugh.) I will chronicle bits of everything: our past, our personal interactions with the people we meet and observations about the places we visit; food and cooking; health, politics and celebrity culture; good reading and philosophy; weather, marine navigation and the constant repairs, repairs, repairs. No two days will be the same. Some days will be very light and some days not so much, but every day will bring a little bit of knowledge about how God is ever present in our lives, working with us for our good, even if I don’t mention Him and even and especially when things are not going well. I may even vent a little frustration at dealing with people from time to time. And I promise I will strive to never be boring.
Subscribe and put on a seat belt; this is and will continue to be a wild ride.
Next Up: Eclipse